There she goes again: Gilmore Girls is the best comfort show of all time

You've been Gilmored.

In case you missed it, the real world is a mess. Wretched, even. I’m not even being dramatic this time, 2025 has truly been sent from someone who wants me dead. Before you ask, no I don’t know who I’ve pissed off and I’m in my 30s so it’s a long list. It’s now occurring to me that maybe I’m more like Paris Geller than a Gilmore Girl. Good for me, actually.

Lately, I’ve been trying to lose myself in hiding places. My life is too chaotic, and the news is too depressing. After finding myself in the grip of an anxiety spiral and depression, I have once again gone back to my teenage classic, Gilmore Girls, which is frankly the best comfort show of all time.

I’m pretty confident about this one, because I can rattle off at least half a dozen comfort shows that I turn to from time to time but none as often as I return to Gilmore Girls. It’s like putting on an old pair of flannel pyjamas that still somehow fit after all this time.

I could sound less insane and maybe lie to you about my tv habits. I could swear I rewatch it once or twice a year as I prepare for autumn’s arrival, but the truth is that I watch it constantly, even if it’s just a random episode here or there. I have done so for over two decades. That’s a pretty long, resilient and therapeutic relationship.

We all have our own ways of coping. What SSRI are you on? I’m on fluoxetine, mirtazapine and Stars Hollow. If you ask me, it kind of works like a beta blocker.

Nothing makes me feel as warm or as safe as a Gilmore binge and I know what I’m talking about, I’ve done the research over the years. Nothing else even comes close. It makes me feel so safe that I cocoon myself in it until I can finally fall asleep. I fill my basket with Luke’s Diner embroidered sweatshirts to throw on in the cold. I buy one too many scented candles. Usually ones I’m told that smell like New England in the fall or Sookie’s banana fosters.

Gilmore Girls is popular around these parts, and for good reason. I’m not the first or the last person to gush over how the show keeps them afloat in their bleakest moments.

I’ve been watching this show for most of my life, and despite the fact I resented every minute I spent growing up in a tiny town with nosy neighbours, I’m almost positive I’d love Stars Hollow. Maybe only for a few days, but that’s more love than my hometown gets from me. I’ve floated through the walls of Chilton hundreds of times, spent countless Friday night dinners with the Gilmores and defended Paris Geller with my entire chest. I can even remember almost all of Emily’s maids which is actually quite a flex now that I think about it.

By nature, I am someone who enjoys a quieter, cosy life. I hate the heat and love the new chill of September. My bedroom walls are lit by hundreds of white lights and candle flame flickers. I come alive in the autumn, when the October leaves float to their end and I’m fighting for my life in a muddy pumpkin patch. I am a homebody at heart, and the best investments I make are the ones I make in TK Maxx to make my apartment as cosy and comforting as possible. No I am not justifying my spending problem, leave me alone. Respectfully.

It makes sense that Gilmore Girls is part of my daily routine, because everybody knows the Gilmores invented fall. Each season starts just before the leaves start to crumple, always returning right at start of the school year. It makes me think of pumpkin pies, bootcut jeans and new stationery. Autumn is in its DNA, and honestly thank god. I can’t gaslight myself into a better life but I can absolutely pretend that a muggy June day filled with the relentless stick of heat is actually a bright October morning instead.

It is impossible to be on the internet in August and not see the Lorelai and Rory post make the rounds (“As summer ends and autumn nears, their power grows stronger” or usually something to that effect). Most of us who have watched the show have a saved Vinted search for the perfect cream cableknit jumper. Having a Rory Gilmore jumper seems like it’ll fix everything.

To me, Gilmore Girls is like fresh bedding on the lazy Sunday before a bank holiday. For a little while, Monday doesn’t exist but a few hours of unearned rest and plump pillows do. I can smell fresh coffee. I can potter around and listen to the women who almost talk faster than I do. Almost. I can find comfort when I’m reminded of one of Kirk’s random jobs or when I hear the lullaby la-la-las that float through the scenes.

Whatever mood I’m in, this show can take care of it.

Sad? Gilmore Girls. Unmotivated? Gilmore Girls. Hungry? Gilmore Girls. I watch it when I work, when I write or do my make up. I watch it with my dinner, and I watch it when I don’t know what to watch. It feels almost like having family around, a familiar noise that I don’t always have to pay too much attention to. I just like knowing it’s there when I want to look up.

It’s a show that is not without its faults, that’s for sure.

Look, sometimes I just want to watch something without analysing it to death. I’m completely qualified to do so, I spent my days as a student critiquing media and culture but guys, I just want to turn my brain off sometimes. I need to clock out and I need to be somewhere else for a while.

So while I could sit here and type about the shameless fatphobia, internal misogyny and occasional tactless social commentary of the show, I just won’t do it. Not this time (and you can’t make me). Don’t get me started on its portrayal of journalism or the character assassination of Rory Gilmore (we’ll get to that later). Someone else will dive into all that though, which is completely fine by me.

However, on the latter - there’s a lot to go through. I might go through it in more detail at another time, but I’ll try to keep it short for now. Most of us would agree that Rory Gilmore’s downfall started with the “He’s my Dean” catastrophe, but it never ended there. From that point on, Rory acted completely out of character. And we hate her for it.

I’ve been irritated with her before, I’ll admit. But the more I think about it, her messy behaviour and mistakes might actually be the most relatable thing of the entire series. I’ve never gone to private school, lived in a pool house or gone on Barack Obama’s campaign bus, but I have let myself down one too many times. I’ve slept with the wrong guy and argued that I knew better. I’ve been defiant and acted out when things didn’t go my way.

We’ve all been there, kind of. I’ve never stolen a boat because someone told me I didn’t have what it takes to succeed. To be honest, I probably would have if I had access to a boat.

If season 1 Rory looked at herself in the mirror, she’d be spooked at what looked back at her just a few years later. I’ve done maybe a 120 things I regret, and said even more. The young me would never have done or said those things. It’s so out of character, until you accept that’s just part of growing up.

It rings a little too close to home, maybe that’s why we can’t stand her. We can’t ignore that at her core she is born from wealth, which is something we are hardwired to dislike in a person. Especially a Gilmore girl, considering Lorelai famously ran away with an infant Rory to escape the shackles of wealth and society life. Money is evil and all that.

Do I love how some of the show plays out? No. Do I watch it anyway? Yes. It’s not that deep.

I don’t watch Gilmore Girls to learn something about the world around me, I watch it to lose myself in a world I can’t quite reach.

There’s a lot to love when you’re trying to escape reality. In Stars Hollow, there’s small town events like lunch date basket auctions, 24 hour dance marathons and Harvest festivals. Fairy lights are tightly wrapped around streetlights and the town square gazebo, which apparently, was more of a budget choice than a stylistic one. Those lights turned out to be one of the most beloved and comforting parts of the set design, so deeply important to its iconography. It was the producers simply making do with what they had, which seems so perfectly aligned with Lorelai Gilmore’s own beginning in her small town.

What else do we have? The girls eat and they do it constantly. I personally love to see a woman eat on screen, and I love that this was so commonplace on the show during a time where food was so often connected to female shame. No, they don’t care and no they don’t gain weight but guys, that’s the dream isn’t it? Talk about aspirational female protagonists. Good for them.

There’s also a grumpy man and sunshine woman trope, which is my personal favourite rom com trope. We can trace the fingerprints of Connecticut throughout the show. We’ve watched leaves change colour to rust, detected the smell of snowfalls, and shared Thanksgivings and Christmases.

Of course, there is academia. The Ivy League and collegiate promise is something that underpins Rory’s arc for so much of the show and are critical parts of the canon, just as much as the sharp pop culture references and mother daughter dynamics.

The show really shines when it pays close attention to its unlikeable characters, who might be the best and most entertaining part of the show. Honestly, the ones who are unlikeable are the most lovable and kept me going through the frustrations of the college years. Emily Gilmore is terrible, sure, but her sweet and salty nature and Kelly Bishop’s comedic delivery make it impossible to resent her for all she’s done. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’ll defend Paris Geller until I die.

After countless rewatches, I really believe that the show would not have endured without its bonkers assemble of townspeople. They might be charming or completely annoying, depending on your point of view. If you want to know who my favourite side character is, I’ll simply say that not only can I perfectly bellow “Morey, I’m going in!” and I did buy a t-shirt that says “Babette ate oatmeal” across the chest.

Here’s the thing about Gilmore Girls, the stakes are never really all that high. Most of the problems faced by the Gilmores are normal, everyday problems. They’re almost always fixable and their lives are almost in reach. There’s an element of it that will always be unrelatable, because how many of us actually grew up with wealth and a country club?

Over the years, I’ve grown with the show. I’ve been Rory (yes, even Season 6 Rory), I’ve been Paris, and I’ve been Lorelai. I’ve even been Emily a few times too, she’s actually my favourite but I lack the generational wealth and endearing snootiness to live as her completely.

Oh and before you ask, Team Jess. Obviously. “Why did you drop out of Yale?” could wake me from a coma.